Reel Review Roundup

License to Wed (M)

Directed by: Ken Kwapis

Starring: Mandy Moore, John Krasinski, Robin Williams

One star

Review by: Julian Wright

Robin Williams had some critical success in the last couple of years when he decided to hang up his clown shoes and take on a few dramatic roles. We saw another side of him when he explored his dark side in films like the creepy One Hour Photo and Insomnia.

It is a shame he has decided to return to his comfort zone, particularly when his comeback film to showcase what he usually does best is such a droll excuse for a romantic comedy. Here he plays Reverend Frank who has created a Marriage Preparation Course for couples about to exchange their vows. This course puts relationships through the ringer putting couples through an emotional obstacle course of tests that determine their compatibility. If their relationship survives the course, they are made for each other.

Sadie (Mandy Moore) and Ben (John Krasinski) are his latest clients whose relationship has been a whirlwind of romance. They are so nauseatingly cute that they have never even had an argument. That’s all about to change when these tests begin to drive a wedge between the cute couple. They begin to argue over responsibility and raising a family and begin to question whether or not they should actually get married.

This laboured comedy is so painfully unfunny it makes you wonder how it got made. It is very common with Hollywood movies that the star is forced to carry an entire film on their shoulders with their charm, wit or comedic talents. Williams has been given the task with this film but he is most disappointing. He can usually give the dullest films a bit of life and vitality but he is given little room to pop into his usual comedic routines and he looks bored here.

The main idea of this film has some potential but it is given such ordinary treatment. It plays a lot on the awkwardness of being welcomed into a family of in-laws, but we have seen this done before and more effectively in Meet the Parents. The script is routine, lacks wit and intelligence and has little to say about relationships. The characters are cliché and the supporting cast are incredibly unremarkable. Even the quirky grandmother and Ben’s wise-cracking buddy are dull.

During one of Reverend Frank’s tests, a word association exercise, John is made to describe his in-laws in one word and in turn is described as vanilla, the perfect description for this film. But even for light entertainment, this movie is pretty horrible.

As appeared in Examiner Newspapers, 2007

Battleship (M)

Directed by: Peter Berg

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson

Two and a half stars

Review by: Julian Wright

Before you scoff at the thought of a movie being based on a board game (and haven’t we all?), remember that Hollywood has already tried this all the way back in 1986 with Clue. While that game had “characters”, a location, some props and a murder mystery, it was still a bit of a stretch adapting it into a motion picture. But with the plot potential of Connect Four, Battleship does leave plenty of room to play around.

Whether or not you think it is the dumbest move on the part of a movie studio or a brilliant marketing strategy (any logo with a pre-existing fan base already has an audience built-in) to turn a board game into a film, no one thought this was going to win any awards. Especially the makers. Keeping their tongue firmly in their cheek, they have opted to go down the big, loud and dumb blockbuster route. How else would they do it?

The relationship between brothers Stone (Alexander Skarsgard), the responsible navy officer and Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch), the perpetual screw-up, is tested when Alex gets busted by the cops for stealing a burrito to impress a girl Samantha (Brooklyn Decker). Stone puts his foot down and demands Alex get his life in order by joining the Navy.

Several months later Alex is in the Navy and he’s got the girl (who apparently was impressed with his efforts in getting her a burrito) but he is still a screw up. Such minor dramas immediately take a back seat when, during a training exercise off of Hawaii, Alex, Stone and their colleagues find themselves in the middle of an alien invasion. The invasion isn’t quite so random; a signal had been sent out into space for communication purposes and as it turns out, someone or something was listening.

What follows, save for a few nods to the board game that inspired the film, is a fairly standard aliens-come-to-earth-and-try-to-take-over scenario. The dialogue is lame and the one liners extremely poor (we are treated to “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” twice. Talk about lazy writing). Half of it doesn’t even make sense – why are the aliens here? why are they destroying random infrastructure? etc. This is the kind of film that people should boo off the screen, and yet it is not as bad as it sounds.

Explosions, special effects and other assorted action aside, there is large sag in the mid-section, but what elevates this popcorn flick to passable is the location. Most alien invasion films are set inland. Ships out at sea, at the very least, gives us something different to look at. And no matter how inane the script is, just try not to fist pump during a battle that includes an old ship and its veteran crew. Old guys kicking alien butt is a hoot.

Street Dance 2 (PG)

Directed by: Max Giwa, Dania Pasquini

Starring: Falk Hentschel, Sofia Boutella, Tom Conti

One star

Review by: Julian Wright

Coming out of the cliché ridden, mind numbingly simple Street Dance 2, my friends and I continued to laugh at (not with, at) the holes in the script, poor logic and wretched acting. We shrugged and one of us said “Well, you don’t expect much from these kinds of films.” And it struck me. Why not? Just because a film is about dancing, film makers should lower their ambitions and we should lower our expectations?

While I have no problem with film makers wanting to showcase the talents of international dancers – I enjoy a good choreographed sequence  as much as the next person – how about they spend as much time on the script as they do on the dance moves? Understandably, the director/s are working with people of limited acting capability, but surely this doesn’t mean they shouldn’t try to flesh out the characters or side-step cliché.

Dancer Ash (Falk Hentschel) tries a few moves at a competition in Paris in front of a large crowd and popular street dance crew Invincible but (pause for effect) stumbles a move, falls on his backside and is pelted with (wait for it) handfuls of popcorn. Embarrassing, for sure, but this incident has hurt his confidence. Branded with the nickname Popcorn boy (ouch), Ash is prompted to gather the best street dancers in Europe and knock Invincible from its perch.

The old saying “easier said than done” does not apply here because the financially struggling street dancer manages to plane, train and automobile his way around several European countries, with his pre-pubescent looking manager Eddie (George Sampson) in tow, to recruit his rag-tag team and then scrimps on the accommodation, putting them up in a dingy hostel.

But who these dancers are is of little consequence. All we get is a freeze frame shot of each one accompanied by their first name. Any development beyond that is purely coincidental. But who needs character development when the biggest hook for this film, and possibly the main reason it was even made, is Ash’s desire to mix dance styles. That’s right, he wants to blow Invincible out of the water with a dance routine that mixes street style with a Latin flavour. This only happens after he meets sizzling fire cracker Eva (Sofia Boutella). So really he is just doing it to get close to the hot chick.

After a while the dance routines (and there are a lot of them) blur together and it is difficult to distinguish styles at all. Montages imply the group are training to mesh the two styles together, but it is virtually impossible to tell if they are even successful in their venture. Eventually, it just feels like padding on what is a bare bones idea for a feature film, anyway. It is the kind of film you inevitably end up having a few chuckles at because of how bad it is, but it still does not justify its existence, or your money for the barely-there 3D effects. All we can do is shrug.

Hairspray (M)

Directed by: Adam Shankman

Starring: John Travolta, Michelle Pfeiffer, Nikki Blonsky

Four stars

Review by: Julian Wright

While you are bopping along to this infectious remake of the 1987 cult classic, it is hard not to be distracted by John Travolta in drag as a dowdy housewife. It isn’t the first time a man has dressed as a woman for a film role, but few of the actors game enough to don a dress have looked so ugly. No offence Travolta, but you just don’t make an attractive woman. Luckily, that doesn’t take away from the fact that this is a toe-tappin’, finger snapping, put a smile on your dial film.

It is 1962 in Baltimore and chirpy, big-haired, overweight teen Tracy Turnblad (Nikki Blonsky) loves to sing and dance and dreams of becoming a star. Tracy and her friend Penny (Amanda Bynes) watch the Corny Collins Show everyday after school – despite their parents’ objections – and swoon over the spunky host (James Marsden). When one of the dance troops on the show leaves, auditions are held and Tracy tries out in hopes of fulfilling her dream of appearing on the pop dance show. Against station manager Velma Von Tussle’s (Michelle Pfeiffer) wishes, Tracy is chosen.

Von Tussle is a bitchy ex-beauty queen who wants her daughter Amber (Brittany Snow) to win the Miss Teenage Hairspray competition. This becomes increasingly unlikely when Tracy becomes the flavour of the town, spawning her own line of dolls, clothes and wigs. When Tracy discovers the black kids are only permitted to dance on the show once a month, she makes it her mission to make every day Negro Day. This doesn’t sit well with Von Tussle, who is convinced it will cause ratings to plummet.

Choreographer Adam Shankman had no experience as a director when he was handed the reins for the 2001 Jennifer Lopez vehicle The Wedding Planner. His films since have been box office successes, but forgettable light weight popcorn flicks. This film seems to be the one he was born to make. Shankman has an apparent respect and affection for the material and his experience in choreography comes in handy in making a pleasant and watchable film-going experience.

Nikki Blonsky, making her film debut as Tracy, has deservedly received plenty of attention for her bubbly and confident performance. Her self-confidence is inspiring to young girls. Despite his disturbing makeover, John Travolta is a hoot and Michelle Pfeiffer (who has been absent from the big screen for far too long) makes a welcome return as the TV station ice queen.

There are some poignant relationships in this film, most notably between mother and daughter. Tracy helps her mum come out of her shell, and from behind her ironing board, to enjoy life. Not only does this film have catchy tunes and fun dance sequences, the political and social subplot gives the film a bit of weight and a slight edge to it.

The struggle the black community face to be recognised as equal to white people is a heavy issue, but is tastefully handled by Shankman. The film is a bit too long with some flabby sequences and it probably won’t become a classic like the original – or the other period musical Grease – but it will ensure a fun time at the flicks.

As appeared in Examiner Newspapers, 2007

The Pirates! Band of Misfits (G)

Directed by: Peter Lord, Jeff Newitt

Starring: Hugh Grant, David Tennant, Jeremy Piven, Salma Hayek

Three and a half stars

Review by: Julian Wright

There is nothing like a bit of claymation to inject some freshness back into the tired old pirate theme. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) brought the forgotten swashbuckling genre back with a vengeance but ultimately killed it off again with its overblown sequels. A little more low-key with more focus on script coherency, The Pirates! Band of Misfits is the kind of pirate film the whole family can enjoy.

Having struggled for 20 years to be recognised as the pirate of the year, Pirate Captain (Hugh Grant) enters the competition once again, sure that this will be his year. He hasn’t scored much gold lately, and his crew are a bunch of misfits (did you guess?) but still he is hopeful. That is, until his peers Black Bellamy (Jeremy Piven) and Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayek) begin to seriously outshine him with their treasures and their showmanship.

Pirate Captain heads out to pick up his game but instead of finding gold, he meets Charles Darwin (David Tennant) a lonely, down on his luck scientist who needs some cash. Darwin realises Pirate Captain’s fat parrot is really a Dodo and so the everyone heads to London for Science conference that is sure to bring Darwin plenty of kudos in his fields and Pirate Captain plenty of money. Unfortunately, Queen Victoria hates pirates and will have them killed.

Aardman Animations’ other films – which include Chicken Run and Wallace and Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit – have somehow slipped past this reviewer, but if they are anything like this charming piece of cinema then they are onto a good thing. While Pirates never strikes as particularly memorable or outstanding, the script and animation is imaginative and the film is consistently amusing. The whole family will be able to get a decent amount of laughs out of this one.

What is impressive, as those who are familiar with Aardman Animations’ work would know, is the detail that goes into the animation. There is something about this technique that wins you over, but you can tell just as much thought has been put into the story, unlike most soulless, cash cow animated films we tend to get stuck with.

Mirror Mirror (PG)

Directed by: Tarsem Singh

Starring: Julia Roberts, Lily Collins, Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane

Four stars

Review by: Julian Wright

Director Tarsem Singh has a striking visual style and flair that could make a reading of the White Pages take your breath away. Tarsem, as he is usually goes by, turned the so-so scripted J. Lo serial killer vehicle The Cell into a beautifully nightmarish experience then more recently made the laborious Immortals a feast for the eyes. Up until Mirror Mirror, he has been more Zack Snyder than David Fincher when it comes to choosing the right scripts to utilise his gift.

Toning down the violence and hypnotic visuals he is known for, Tarsem plays it straighter for a family friendly film that still allows his imagination some space to move and have fun with sumptuous designs. He even gets the chance to handle a spritely and comprehensible script.

Mirror Mirror starts off familiarly enough, with some back story following the Snow White story we know and love fairly closely. A money-grubbing and bitter Queen (Julia Roberts), obsessed with her appearance, married the King (Sean Bean) but was insanely jealous of his daughter Snow White’s (Lily Collins) beauty. Once the King disappears in the forest and is presumed dead, the Queen locks Snow White up in her room and rules the village with an iron fist.

Fast forward to Snow White’s 18th birthday and her adventures begin as she meets a prince (Armie Hammer) and the seven dwarfs as she attempts some independence from her evil step mother and save the village people. So far, so familiar, but what brings this version to life are the tweaks that Melissa Wallack and Jason Keller have made to the Grimm fairytale. Just wait until you see what role the dwarfs play in this version.

The script is sharp with a few winks and nods to the audience, some terrifically delicious details and colourful characters. And the cast  is game. Roberts, who appears to be relishing the chance to spit some nasty quips, pleasantly surprises as the smarmy Queen. Hammer is utterly charming as the prince and Collins, who failed to register in the abominable Abducted, is alternately sweet and feisty. And in true Tarsem style, this all unfolds in some delectably designed sets and costumes that would have you picking your jaw up off the floor.

We are yet to see the seemingly more adult Snow White and the Huntsmen (the release was pushed way back to avoid a clash with this kiddie friendly version) but this frothy fairytale will be enough to tide us over in the meantime. Who knows, this could be the fairest Snow White story of them all.

Coriolanus (MA)

Directed by: Ralph Fiennes

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Vanessa Redgrave, Gerard Butler, Jessica Chastain

Four stars

Review by: Julian Wright

Audiences might get a little bit of a surprise when they go and see Coriolanus. The characters kind of talk funny. Writer John Logan and director Ralph Fiennes (in his directorial debut) have modernised one of William Shakespeare’s plays but kept the original dialogue a la Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet. But, hey, if teens can decipher the language in a hotted up version of the tragic tale of two starry-eyed lovers and make it a hit, then others shouldn’t have a problem here.

Decorated war hero Caius Martius Coriolanus (Ralph Fiennes) returns home to Rome after serving a tour which involved another battle with his sworn enemy Tullus Aufidius (Gerard Butler). Upon his return, he receives a warm welcome from his doting mother Volumnia (Vanessa Redgrave) and worried wife Virgilia (Jessica Chastain), and the encouragement to run for consul in light of his military achievements.

With so much social unrest on the streets – there is constant rioting – Coriolanus could be the light at the end of the tunnel for these people and restore order. However, when he refuses to pander to those in the lower socio-economic demographic and his chances his chances of reconciliation are sabotaged by political rivals, things begin to heat up.

Not feeling the respect he thinks he deserves, he turns his back on his family, Rome and its citizens. Coriolanus even takes steps, such as striking up an unlikely alliance, to exact revenge on those that disrespected him. So deep is his rage that it does not matter to him which innocent people, like his family, might get caught up in the middle of it.

Without prior knowledge of the play (sorry high school English Lit, my 17-year-old self did not have the attention span for it) or the production history of the film, it was at first jarring hearing that ye olde dialogue on the soundtrack while modern warfare played on the screen. But once you move past that initial surprise, you will begin to appreciate the language.

The language is much more eloquent and rich than any most Hollywood scribes could conjure from scratch. So much is said in one sentence. Sure the monologues go on longer, but you get much more character development and nuance. I shudder to think what the dialogue would sound like had it been updated. So many teeth grinding clichés, I would be willing to bet.

Coriolanus gives Fiennes and Redgrave (particularly the lately underused 75-year-old legend) some meaty stuff to work with here. How many juicy roles are there for seniors citizens these days? Enough to count on one hand that it missing a few fingers. And Redgrave knocks it out of the park with her passionate performance. Butler is underwhelming and the capable Chastain is given little more to do than shoot the occasional concerned look, but she is an appealing presence.

But such imperfections are forgivable in such a compelling story. Those willing to brave the traditional dialogue will be in for a bloody, violent and powerful treat. Anyone who finds it a tough slog to get through the simplistic dialogue of an episode of Gossip Girl may want to steer clear.

Project X (MA)

Directed by: Nima Nourizadeh

Starring: Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown

Half a star

Review by: Julian Wright

If ever there was a type of film that didn’t need the found footage treatment, it is the teens getting drunk at a party film. Not only is it redundant – with Facebook, Youtube and camera phones, no one runs around a party with a camcorder – but trying to make us believe the atrocious behaviour of the characters in this film actually happened is offensive.

Stealing heavily from Superbad (it is basically an unofficial remake minus the charm) and several other better, and not so better, teens go wild type films, Project X is a projectile vomit of clichés and disgusting, adolescent behaviour. In fact, this film goes so over the line of decency, it is an insult to adolescents. And anyone else that happens to have the misfortune of seeing it.

Three hormone driven teenage virgin guys (aren’t they all in these movies?) Thomas (Thomas Mann), Costa (Oliver Cooper) and JB (Jonathan Daniel Brown) are always on the lookout for the perfect candidate to take their virginity. The opportunity comes up on Thomas’ birthday when his parents go away for the weekend for their anniversary. Thomas is thinking a few geeky friends over for some harmless beers, but Costa has broadcast around town the promise of an orgy of free-flowing booze and drugs, pumping music and naked chicks. The more chicks, the better because this just increases the chances of having sex. Charming

The events of the night, which predictably include excessive drinking, drug taking, risk taking as well as underage sex, dirty dancing, naked chicks and endless grinding, are all captured by a school mate for reasons that are not really made clear. Needless to say it is fairly standard stuff except the attitude with which it is made.

There is minimal character development of the already unlikable and foul-mouthed trio, who spend as much time insulting each other as they do thinking about how to score. When you have friends like these, who needs enemies? But the sickening part is this film’s portrayal and treatment of teenage girls. The camera creeps up their legs, lingers on their crotches and zooms in on their cleavage. It encourages its audience to ogle at drunk and topless party girls who are supposed to be high school students. And they wanted to ban The Human Centipede.

Half a star may sound generous but there is the occasional chuckle from the least offensive gags, notably the 12-year-old bouncers hired to keep the party under control. But if this is the next step in teenage themed films, maybe we should stick with Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Clueless and Superbad, where the characters are appealing, learn something and don’t degrade the human race. This is the kind of found footage that should be destroyed, or better yet, never be filmed in the first place.

A Little Bit of Heaven (M)

Directed by: Nicole Kassell

Starring: Kate Hudson, Gael Garcia Bernal, Kathy Bates, Whoopi Goldberg

Two stars

Review by: Julian Wright

There are few things more disappointing than when a film maker slips onto the scene with a powerful and challenging movie only to follow it up years later with a mediocre rom com. Director Nicole Kassell showed she had promise and guts to bring to screen the story of a pedophile trying to become a decent citizen in 2004’s The Woodsman. Her direction was simple, yet her vision was clear and Kevin Bacon, in the lead role, turned in one of the most astounding, albeit criminally overlooked, performances.

Kassell has since dabbled in the occasional television series episode but has made her feature film followup with this uninspired, clichéd and mostly unfunny disease of the week that is barely getting a theatrical release. What a disconcerting effort. Now there is nothing wrong with a film maker spreading their wings and exploring new territory or genres. But after exhibiting such talent, one must wonder why Kassell would compromise for this pay cheque job.

Marley Corbett (Kate Hudson) is a funky, frisky and fun-loving twenty-something that doesn’t need a man, except of course, for the occasional booty call after a night of partying. She is dominating at the advertising company where she works and despite some issues she has with her parents, she has plenty of close friends. Then she finds out she has colon cancer. What a downer.

But Marley believes there is no point in letting a bit of terminal cancer get you down so she continues to treat the news like a minor inconvenience, until she realises she wont experience a lot of things she wanted to. As she comes to terms with her own mortality, she and her doctor Julian Goldstein (Gael Garcia Bernal) start to get lovey dovey. But oh no! Marley is supposed to be aloof!

No prizes for who guesses where all this goes. And usually with these kinds of films it is the journey to the inevitable, tear jerking ending that we all know is coming that is half the fun. However, the journey here, as spritely as Hudson tries to make it, is incredibly familiar. Hudson is pleasing to the senses, she is impossibly cute and likeable here. But a charming personality cannot sustain an entire film, particularly one that draws out its final third to painful lengths.

Not only is Kassell’s talent wasted behind the scenes, pros like Goldberg (in a cameo as God where even she doesn’t even look like she knows what she is doing there) Bates and Treat Williams do little more than walk there caricatured characters through the motions. While it sometimes takes the subject matter a little too lightly, credit where credit is due, this film does not betray itself. It shares Marley’s “Cancer? Meh” attitude up until the final shot.

Carnage (M)

Directed by: Roman Polanski

Starring: Jodie Foster, John C Reilly, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz

Four and a half stars

Review by: Julian Wright

Carnage is what happens when two sets of parents try to clear the air after their children fight. Anyone who doesn’t have children can only imagine the awkwardness associated with such a situation, particularly when one child is injured by the other. Double awkward. But thanks to this film and the play it is based on, Gods of Carnage, we no longer have to imagine this strange situation.

After we witness, from a distance, a squabble between two children which results in one striking the other in the face with a stick, we are placed in the New York apartment of Penelope and Michael Longstreet (Jodie Foster and John C. Reilly). The well to do couple are hosting Nancy and Alan Cowan (Kate Winslet and Christoph Waltz) . We discover the Cowan’s child Zachary was the one that hit the Longstreet’s son Ethan in the face and he now needs dental surgery.

The couples have decided to meet and settle the situation like adults. However as the meeting progresses, it goes from some forced and awkward pleasantries to small digs at each others parenting. Blame is thrown around and things get nasty. Not only that, but the longer these people stay in the same room, the more evident the cracks in both marriages become apparent. And the more unhinged these people get, the funnier it gets.

Despite Polanski’s efforts, Carnage cannot escape its single location, theatrical origins.  He moves his camera around the apartment often enough for a cinematic feel but this is a minor quibble. When you have four fine actors in the one room with a script as sharp as this one, who cares? Waltz steals it as the workaholic that constantly interrupts the meeting by answering his phone calls but only Foster could have done with dialing down her hysteria.

This film teeters on the unbelievable but manages to never tip over. Every time the Cowen’s try to leave the apartment, they are drawn back in. Had the script contrived one more failed attempt, it could have been a fatal mistake, but Polanski and writer Yasmina Reza know their limits. The self-control they exhibit in bringing the material to the screen is admirable. This is particularly apparent with the compact 79 minute running time. A skilled director, expert performers and a witty script; there are much worse ways to spend your  time.