Cold Storage (MA)
Directed by: Jonny Campbell
Starring: Joe Keery, Liam Neeson, Georgina Campbell
Review by: Julian Wright
A deadly fungus, exploding bodies, vomiting animals, tongue in cheek humour – all the right ingredients for a fun, schlocky B-grade ride.
But the storage is not the only thing that is chilly with this comedy/horror.
When a section of a space station crashes back to Earth in an isolated Western Australian town, the deadly green fungus it is carrying escapes and wreaks havoc on the handful of residents, turning them into blood-spewing zombie-like creatures that explode.
The spread is contained by Pentagon bioterror operatives Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) and Trini Romano (Lesley Manville), and a sample of the fungus is locked up in an underground government storage facility in Kansas – which is years later decommissioned and turned into a private self storage facility that is open 24 hours.
The night the fungus becomes active again (something about weather changes over the years re-activates it) and begins spreading via a cockroach, rat, cat and deer, two young staff Teacake (Joe Keery) and Naomi (Georgina Campbell) are on shift.
Teacake, desperate to keep his job (a parole requirement) and single mum Naomi have to survive the night of an infected ex, animals and looters – with the help of injured retiree Quinn.
Cold Storage opens with a promising and snappy prologue that suggests that we will be treated to the suspense, ick-factor and consistent giggles of Tremors, Slither or Drag Me To Hell, but it only partially delivers.
There is definitely all the ooey gooey bits that will make you squirm and the occasional chuckle, but they become fewer and further between as the plot becomes unnecessarily complicated for what is essentially mindless entertainment.
Additionally, once we get to the storage facility, we very rarely leave and it is not exactly the most thrilling environment to spend a schlocky B-grade ride – at least, director Jonny Campbell is limited in his ability to make it the nutty funhouse that it should be.
This isn’t to say that Cold Storage is a terrible film – there are things to like about it, it certainly has entertainment value and is never boring – it just doesn’t hit the spot like the previously mentioned schlockathons.
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